10. You can say, ‘Can I use your bathroom?’ and nobody cares. But if you ask, ‘Can I use the plop-plop machine?’ it always breaks the conversation.
9. So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.
8. There’s a fine line between masturbating while you look out a window, and masturbating while you’re looking in a window. I’ll give you a hint: one of ‘em is super illegal.
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