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610
CURRENT RANK
CURRENT SCORE
less stats more stats14.15
Rank
(best ever)
26
Score
(all time)
5032.00
Created
06/04/09
Views 4944
Votes 3
Comments 2
1
Tremors
It’s fair to say I’ve watched this film hundreds and hundreds of times. As a kid I rented it at my local video store on a weekly basis and after awhile, my VHS machine even got tired of listening to the Darkman trailer that came right before the swanky tune-age that cued Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward to wake up to the longest weekend of their lives. The dialogue is campy, the ideals behind the underground monster is a long shot at best, but the acting isn’t half bad, some of the one liners are hilarious, and the character’s are classic. I’m not ashamed to say I own the quadrilogy. This movie is the epitome of Awesomely Bad.
2
Universal Soldier
What do you get when you mix Dolph Lundgren, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Science Fiction? An awesomely bad movie. When your tag line says, “The Future Has A Bad Attitude” it’s clear what your getting yourself into. Dolph Lundgren has no intention of coming in peace in this sci-fi action film. He’s busy trying to kill his former cyber buddies (Jean-Claude) butt while also trying to kill the chick with the raspy voice. In the meantime Jean-Claude walks around confused with some pretty intense muscles, unveiling what seems like an underlying desire to have sexual relations with the raspy voiced chick. He seems torn between her and his connection to Lundgren, though sporting an earful of jewelry Lundgren seems to have moved on. Lots of action, fun sci-fi, bad acting, but Lundgren and Van Damme = The Ultimate Awesomely Bad Movie
3
Top Gun
A film with Ace pilots and Bromance triangle staring Tom Cruise would have to be a ranking member of an awesomely bad movie, and STILL I’ve yet to have even mentioned the boys playing volleyball or even The Danger Zone. Does the “Danger Zone” really mean something else? Has the phallic connotations of the planes mirrored other ideals too closely? I don’t think it matters. Maverick, Goose, Slider, and Iceman have enough bravado to compensate for the sexual tension that screams through this movie. With all of the men so tense with one another why was the broad shouldered Kelly McGillis cast? She looked like another dude ready to go topless and play some mean volleyball in slow motion. Top Gun might be silly with odd sexual implications, but it’s still loads of fun.
4
Masters Of The Universe
Wow, I’d almost forgotten what great man boobs Dolph Lundgren has in this film. If he was a woman he would have been required to toss those bad boys in a brazierre. In Masters of the Universe his cape crusading character “He-Man” (even though he does look a little more like “She-ra” here) travels through time, dimensions, or just by some electric blue lightening that encourages him to save Courtney Cox, who can’t get enough fried chicken, and then eventually battles his nemesis Skeletor to the death. Everything is kind of pointless, and even the battle is anti-climatic, but we know why were watching: Obviously for Lundgrens great man breasts and the fact that Courtney Cox never had them.
5
Mannequin
What man hasn’t dreamed of making love to a mannequin? Errrr………I mean, what man hasn’t dreamed of making love to a mannequin that turns into a young Kim Cattrall? I think now I’m back on track. This best part of this flamboyant 80’s flick is the uber cool Meshach Taylor as Hollywood. Somehow this extravagant character even manages to steal the screen from a half naked Cattrall. Everything about this movie is full of irrational fantastical amusement in a strange fantasy ridden world. It screams the 80’s, and even though it’s not by typical standards good, it’s a great one to watch again and again.
6
Speed
“There is a bomb on the bus what do you do?” Well………..I would make out with the hottest pedestrian, but also the most annoying one that won’t shut up. Perhaps tonsil hockey would encourage quiet? Or maybe there is just a bomb on the bus? Wait……wait……how about a bomb on the bus plus the impending doom of an annoying Sandra Bullock? There’ll be distractions with Keanu Reeves powerful arms and bad acting, not too mention an insane Dennis Hopper and some solidity from Jeff Daniels. Yeah, this will be a great movie. It was horrible, and somehow still so much FUN! I cannot hate this movie. I could try to hate it but it will never happen. I love every minute of Bullocks tragically obnoxious performance.
7
Starship Troopers
Ok, lets be honest the number one appeal of this film was the infectious drop dead gorgeous toothpaste ad face of Denise Richards. Let’s toss some Insectoid aliens threatening the livelihood of earths survival and who do we send to protect us? The cast of 90210! This film is full on tongue in cheek, but I’m not ashamed to say that it entertains on levels beyond it’s own sense of humor. It has engaging action and even the aliens are sexy, in a slimy brainy type way. This is a movie that belongs in it’s own category.
8
Alien Resurrection
This, like Terminator Salvation to me maybe isn’t exactly a piece of the series or a real image of what the franchise was about, but it does have it’s appeal. My first viewing of it, I hated it, and then found myself repeating the viewing again and again on cable. Maybe it isn’t the worst movie ever, though the last fifteen minutes or so definitely become one of the worst ENDINGS of all time. It’s a fun movie with some clever dialogue, action, and character moments. Maybe it wasn’t what Alien or Aliens was, but at least it wasn’t Alien 3. And let’s be honest, anything Joss Whedon writes is going to have a certain level of camp, but we like that, even if it is a little wrong sometimes. This isn’t my heroine Ripley, but it’s a fun bad movie anyway.
9
Jurassic Park III
The truth is if they made another Jurassic Park like the Lost World, I would have very little desire to see it, but if another was made like Jurassic Park III I would feel inclined. It’s really a pretty awful movie, but somehow still likable. The annoying characters, the ridiculous plot, the new understanding about Raptor intelligence and communication, the over the top new dinosaur foe is all so implausible you sit threw the movie laughing hysterically at it’s nonsense but enjoying the nonsense in the same moment. Each time I finish viewing it I can’t comprehend the passing enjoyment I have from it. Truly, it’s a paradox, but I don’t believe I’m alone in this sentiment either. So onward JP creators and writers. I praise not taking yourself too seriously and having a movie turn out in mediocre fashion rather than a mediocre movie taking itself too seriously and becoming unlikable. Thumbs up for the nonsensical enjoyment that is Jurassic Park III.
10
Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitters Dead/Dude, Where’s My Car
In the age of Kelly Bundy no one was hotter on TV than Christina Applegate, so when Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitters dead came out, girls wanted to be her, and adolescent to grown men wanted to be with her. While the notion of this film is utterly ridiculous and what follows after the initial event is also just as nonsensical it is too fun to care about how illogical it actually is. The film features a series of events and relationships that make no sense, but somehow come across as hilarious and fun.-Dude, Where’s My Car has very few redeeming qualities except that somewhere in the mix of it’s terrible and awful; somewhere in the middle of mistaking an Ostrich for a Llama and a series of other events that have no relation or any sense or logic whatsoever this movie is hilarious. The idea of not remembering the night before from too much drinking is a relatable quality in the age demographic this film aimed for, but even so it was so uber wrong on so many levels, it would just be a terrible shame not to laugh with it, because it had no problem laughing at itself.
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