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The Top Ten Euphemisms for Masterbation
Author:
Vincetastic
141 lists
A euphemism is a substitution of an agreeable or less offensive expression in place of one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant to the listener,[1] or in the case of doublespeak, to make it less troublesome for the speaker.
Masturbation refers to sexual stimulation, especially of one's own genitals (self masturbation) and often to the point of orgasm,[1] which is performed manually, by other types of bodily contact (except for sexual intercourse), by use of objects or tools, or by some combination of these methods.
| # | Euphemism |
| 1. | Knocking out the one-eyed champ |
| 2. | Strom-ing your Thurmond |
| 3. | Taking the dog out for a walk |
| 4. | I was just cleanin' it, and it went off by accident. |
| 5. | Beating around the bush |
| 6. | Rubbing one out |
| 7. | Playing the one holed finger flute |
| 8. | Whacking off |
| 9. | Feeding the Chickens |
| 10. | Wrapping presents |
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You left ladies off of this list...scratchin' the record (Lisa Lampinelli), hangin' at the Y (also Lisa Lampinelli).
Posted 7 months ago
Jerking beef, pulling one's priest, loping one's mule
Posted 7 months ago
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Posted 9 months ago
"Playing the one holed finger flute" is a really good one, never heard of it before, I'll have to try i out.
Posted 9 months ago
Haha great
Posted 10 months ago
Beef stroking off is a good one.
Posted 10 months ago
'On a date with Rosie Palms and her 5 sisters' is a good one. Strom-ing your Thurmond doesn't make any sense but I like it. I think that 'Playing the one holed finger flute' is my favorite.
Posted 11 months ago
'Flogging the bishop' or 'Flogging the dolphin'
'Beef Strokin' Off'
'Burping the worm'
'On a date with Rosie Palms and her 5 sisters'
...so many to choose from!
Posted 11 months ago
hahaha
Posted 11 months ago
That's what you say. That's what you say if your
parents ever catch you. "I wasn't masturbating, I was just
cleaning it and it went off."
Posted 11 months ago