THE TOP TEN Major Mistakes When Making Love
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Failing to properly time her contractions.
Starting your dismount while she's still getting undressed.
Offering to fix the ignition on her fuel-injected San Andreas Fault vibrator.
Asking a teen-aged boy to count cadence while you lay a little midlife pipe.
You put your right foot in ... You take your right foot out ... You put your right foot in ... and then you shake it all about.
Betting you can hold a fart longer than it will take him to slide face first into third base.
Losing control of your loins as you head into a triple axel.
Getting a load of love juice up your nose when you dog paddle across the wet spot.
Ignoring a sudden gurgling sound in your intestines.
Intentionally blocking his escape route.
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