THE TOP TEN Most Beautiful Things
Swan Fungus (http://www.swanfungus.com) takes a day to reflect on some of the most beautiful things in the world. Not quite in the physical sense, but in the spiritual sense. To see the original list visit http://www.swanfungus.com/2005/10/the-top-ten-most-beautiful-things.html
Swan Fungus (http://www.swanfungus.com) takes a day to reflect on some of the most beautiful things in the world. Not quite in the physical sense, but in the...  more
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Created 12/29/08
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1
DISAGREE

For reading through this most heinous and worst top-ten list yet... You, my dear reader, are a beautiful person and a beautiful thing. I think this opium has kicked in.

 
 
 
 

2
DISAGREE

Being driven to create something, whether it's for your own pleasure or for mass consumption, is a noble thing. If you're ambitious--no matter how high your aspirations-- if you put effort into realizing your goals you can easily say your life has been a success. Not worrying about stress or your own self-consciouness or insecurities, living to make your dreams come true... Whether you want to sail around the world, write a play or "close the big deal" (which is gay), if you tell yourself you're not going to allow destructive criticism to thwart your plans, you're a part of a beautiful thing. I think I stole that from a Dr. Phil monologue. I leave the TV on a lot when I sleep.

 
 
 
 

3
DISAGREE

A breakfast that consists of eggs (either scrambled or over easy), bacon, and buttermilk pancakes, with potatoes and maybe a side of toasted sourdough bread. In fact, any insanely large breakfast combo, be it waffles, omelet French toast, or salami and eggs, is the most incredible meal of any day. Throw in free coffee/tea refills and you've found the best breakfast nook ever. If the bill arrives and it costs less than five dollars for everything I just listed above, you've found one of the world's most beautiful things.

 
 
 
 

4
DISAGREE

Driving up the PCH on a particularly gray day. In the humid late July/early august dusk hours, when the fog rolls off the water and up the sides of cliffs, making a perfect vacuum for your car to pass through, this is one of the most beautiful things.

 
 
 
 

5
DISAGREE

When you're out on the town, soaking in local flavors and colors while trashed, randomly bumping into someone you know and dislike. It's hilarious when you know you have to act superficial in a situation. The possibilities for making that other person feel uncomfortable are endless. I was coming down in 711 once, looking for something to ease hunger pangs, when in walks this girl whose vagina I was jonesing for throughout high school. She approached me as I was mixing a bunch of different coffees together, and she started making small talk. I asked what she was doing with her life, and as soon as she started to speak I lunged for a canister of whipped cream and started spraying it in and around my mouth. How she looked is how you'll look someday when you walk in on your child masturbating. Watching someone you have no feelings for attempt to function in a state of complete awe is a beautiful thing.

 
 
 
 

6
DISAGREE

Showing up to a performance tripping on cold/flu medicine seems like a recipe for disaster. Getting a free bagel and a large mug of black tea helps ease the pre-performance jitters. Playing your set mistake-free and packing your things up only to be approached by some old guy who says, "I really dig the songs you play. The last one, what's it called? ... Whenever you play it I find myself singing along out loud. I really like that one," makes the walk back through sub-zero degree Vermont winters a magnificently beautiful thing.

 
 
 
 

7
DISAGREE

Having a girl go down on you for an entire afternoon is a beautiful thing.

 
 
 
 

8
DISAGREE

If you feel the urge to urinate while driving, and you take the very next exit only to end up driving for two hours without passing a stop, it might seem like a wasted day. But when you have absolutely no commitments and nothing to do, and you find this little gas station with fresh brewed coffee, nachos with hot spicy cheese, and a clean bathroom, you my friend have stumbled onto one of the most pleasantly surprising, hidden gems of a beautiful thing.

 
 
 
 

9
DISAGREE

Scoring the winning touchdown, sinking the winning basket, they can be kind of cool. Me, I'd rather be the guy who checks into the game late, maybe as a replacement, and does something so asinine that it goes down in local sports history. To read more about this, check out the Top Ten Evan LeVine Sports Moments. Hearing the rumor that there was still a Four Squares "move" called "The McGoff" at Burnett Hill Elementary School... It blew my mind. Sure, it was an illegal move, but now McGoff has been immortalized in local sporting lore. Because game-winning scenarios--if not in championship games-- fade, being known as the kid who streaked across the court naked slathered in red paint is definitely a beautiful thing.

 
 
 
 

10
DISAGREE

Rubbernecking is NOT a beautiful thing. Slowing down when you see an ethnic person (be they African American, Hispanic, Asian or otherwise) sitting on the curb while a police officer sifts his way through their entire automobile IS a beautiful thing.

 
 
 
 





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