Keith Hopcroft
Keith Hopcroft
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Score (all time) 3227.00
Created 09/03/09
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1
SNORING
High. Often this involves a sleep-deprived female dragging along her sheepish, snoring partner to see the GP.
It's usually linked to variations in jaw and throat anatomy, and is more likely if you tend to sleep on your back. Occasionally, it's caused by polyps blocking your nose. It can be a sign of sleep apnoea, in which breathing is disrupted at night.
It's a good idea to lose weight and reduce alcohol consumption, if necessary. Various gizmos are available from the chemist or via britishsnoring.co.uk.
Yes, if you have a constantly stuffy nose, or sleep apnoea, treatment is available.
2
FLATULENCE
Astronomical. This symptom seems more at home in a Carry On script than the surgery.
If your wind level is off the Beaufort scale, there may be a simple explanation. Causes include fizzy drinks, chewing gum, gulping meals too quickly and the usual food suspects such as beans and broccoli. Air swallowing - via, say, pen-top chewing - may be significant, too.
Chewing your food more slowly and modifying your diet is more likely to break your wind habit than remedies.
Only if there's an underlying cause, which is unusual. Possibilities include excess stomach acid or drug side-effects.
3
HEAVY PERIODS
Moderate. All things menstrual remain taboo.
Usually, this is just a variation of normal. If there's an underlying cause, there may be further clues. Pelvic infection or endometriosis can lead to painful periods and discomfort during sex.
Yes. Ibuprofen tablets can help to reduce bleeding as well as pain.
Yes, if self-treatment doesn't work, or you need contraception - the Pill could help. And there are other options available on prescription. You should also see your doctor if you have other gynaecological symptoms.
4
FEMALE INCONTINENCE
Very high. Many sufferers feel ashamed and may believe that they smell.
Urge incontinence usually results from a “twitchy” bladder and means you can't get to the loo in time. Stress incontinence is caused by weak pelvic-floor muscles leading to leakage on coughing, laughing or straining.
Urge problems may be eased by gradually training your bladder to accept larger volumes of urine. Stress incontinence may improve with pelvic-floor exercises. Losing excess weight and stopping smoking will help, too.
Definitely, if simple measures haven't helped. Treatment depends on the cause, and ranges from tablets to surgery.
5
EXCESSIVE SWEATING
Moderate. The perceived link with body odour means that sufferers may be reluctant to seek help.
This is usually a variation of normal, though stress may be a factor. Occasionally it's caused by an overactive thyroid. Hyperhidrosis is the name given to incredibly drippy armpits or feet.
Relaxation exercises may help if tension plays a part. For hyperhidrosis, powerful antiperspirants, such as aluminium chloride roll-ons, are available from the chemist.
Yes, unless your symptoms are mild and lifelong. A blood test will rule out thyroid trouble. Severe sweating can sometimes be eased by tablets.
6
ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION
Lower than previously. Traditionally, this was a “while I'm here” symptom in red-faced males. In the post-Viagra age, they are much happier to discuss ED.
These include circulation problems, depression, diabetes, excess alcohol, medication side-effects and psychosexual issues. But usually no specific cause is found.
Reducing alcohol, stopping smoking and increasing exercise might improve matters, and will at least get you fitter. Avoid “miracle cures” and dodgy supplies of Viagra, though.
Yes, unless your ED is recent and easily explained by stress or tiredness. Your doctor will check for any underlying cause, may give you a health MoT and will advise about treatment.
7
ITCHY ANUS
High. Pant-area problems always cause awkwardness. This has the added disadvantage of seeming trivial.
Typically, no particular reason is found.The itching makes you scratch, which, in turn, aggravates the itch. Sometimes, the symptom is caused by infections such as thrush or threadworms, or by skin problems such as eczema.
Keep the area squeaky clean, especially after opening your bowels; moisturising tissues will help. And stop scratching. Over-the-counter creams, especially those marketed for “piles”, may make matters worse.
Yes, if simple hygiene measures don't work. He can check what's causing the embarrassing itch and prescribe a soothing cream.
8
EXCESSIVE HAIR ON WOMEN
Very high. There's the squirm-inducing fear that you're turning into a man.
This is usually normal. “Unwanted hair” is often a family trait and is more common, for example, in Mediterranean women. Occasionally, it's caused by an underlying illness or the side-effects of tablets.
Choose from plucking, shaving, waxing, bleaching, depilatory creams, laser treatment or electrolysis. If you're overweight, slimming may help.
Certainly, if the hairiness is caused by a medical problem. Clues are a sudden or recent onset, associated scalp hair loss or absent periods - these can be signs of hormonal trouble. GPs may also prescribe creams or tablets for this symptom.
9
SMELLY FEET
High. This is seen as an indictment of personal habits rather than a symptom.
The problem may simply be a combination of sweaty feet, less-than-rigorous hygiene and over-dependence on “favourite” shoes. Occasionally, infections cause or aggravate the problem.
Wear fresh socks daily, clean your feet and the inside of shoes regularly and try washable insoles. Also, avoid wearing trainers every day and let your feet “breathe” whenever possible.
Only if you reckon your feet are infected. The clues are scaling of the skin, starting between the toes, or tiny holes or pits dotting your soles. Antifungal creams or antibiotics should clear it up.
10
MALE-PATTERN BALDNESS
High. Men aren't supposed to be so vain.
Being a man and getting older. Genetics play a part, too, so blame your dad.
Minoxidil is available as an over-the-counter lotion. It shows limited success in baldness that has been present for only a few years and which mainly affects the crown.
Only if you're desperate and minoxidil hasn't helped. The doctor can provide a private prescription for finasteride, a tablet that helps some men. But it can cause side-effects and, like minoxidil, is pricey. It may be more sensible to accept your fate and spend your money on something more worthwhile.
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