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In some circles, it's Halloween all year round. We've compiled a list of bands that traded in pop songs about cars, broken hearts and the VIP room for tirades about dismemberment, necrophilia and pus. / Blender.com, October 2006
In some circles, it's Halloween all year round. We've compiled a list of bands that traded in pop songs about cars, broken hearts and the VIP room for tirade... more
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Rank (best ever) 24
Score (all time) 4124.00
Created 03/04/08
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1
Mayhem, "Chainsaw Gutsfuck"
Deathcrush, 1987
Norwegian death metal band break the fourth wall and live the nightmare — with gruesome results.
Bleed down to the fucking core/You're going down for fucking more/Screw your slimy guts/Driving me fucking nuts!/Chainsaw in my bleeding hands/As I start to cut you in two/Your guts are steaming out/And I just love the sight!
You know you're gruesome when 1) Your singer commits suicide but decides that lacerating his wrists is not enough, so he completes the act with a shotgun blast to the head. 2) Your guitar player eats said singer's brains and makes several necklaces from the remnants of his skull. 3) Said guitar player becomes involved in a feud with a fellow musician and as a result gets murdered by way of 23 stab wounds to the head, neck and back and 4) Your band continues on to write more lyrics like these, which carry a simple theme: They want to fuck your guts with a chainsaw. Until you die.
2
Cannibal Corpse, "Hammer Smashed Face"
Hammer Smashed Face, 1993
Death metal so over the top it makes it to the Ace Ventura: Pet Detective soundtrack.
The sledge, my tool to torture/As it pounds down on your forehead/Eyes bulging from the sockets/With every swing of my mallet/I smash your fucking head in, until brains seep in/Through the crack/Blood does leak distorted beauty/Catastrophe steaming slop/Splattered all over me/Lifeless body, slouching dead/Lecherous abcess/Where you once had a head.
This song has a clear message: You're going to die, you're dying, you're supposed to die ... just pretty much die already.
3
Arab on Radar, "Biggest Little Prick in the Union"
Rough Day at the Orifice, 2003
Insane alien rock band get auto-erotic.
I removed my foreskin to interfere with procedure/I tied one end of the rope to the tip of my prick and the other, to the exhaust of my girlfriend's car/'Hey,' I said, 'put the pedal to the metal'/And I've got to wrap duct tape around my cock just to keep it together.
Jesus Christ.
4
Slayer, "Piece by Piece"
Reign in Blood, 1986
Thrash metal band uses big words, simple themes.
Modulistic terror/A vast sadistic feast/The only way to exit/Is going piece by piece/Bones and blood lie on the ground/Rotten limbs lie dead/Decapitated bodies found/On my wall, your head!
20 years later Slayer's new album, Christ Illusion, debuted at No.5. Score one for satanic murderous intent!
5
Gravediggaz, "1-800-Suicide"
6 Feet Deep, 1994
Wu-Tang's RZA ushers in the birth of Horrorcore, and the death of pretty much everything else.
The first was convinced/Stuck a water hose in his mouth at full blast so his head can explode/Second said 'hmmmm that's good but I can top it'/Put an ax up to his head and then he chopped it/Blood shot out in every direction/The rest didn't know what to do/I made suggestions.
In the rap world, before there was bling, there was blood. RZA, helpful lad that he is, is full of creative scenarios.
6
Dark Lotus, "Black Rain"
Black Rain, 2004
Violent J breaks free from the artistic constraints of the Worst Band Ever, Insane Clown Posse, and continues right where they left off.
I stick a running chainsaw blade all down your throat/And fuckin' outta ya ass/I cut ya body in half/I gotta be bloody/Leave somebody's blood on my body.
And here I thought Shaggy 2 Dope was the lyrical genius…
7
Autopsy, "Burnt to a Fuck"
Shitfun, 1995
Gross-out kings put the "fun" in Shitfun.
Your burning face/A charcoal cinder/Lump of putrid sizzling flesh/Dripping features deforming fast/Scream 'til your mouth fuses shut/To barbeque I sentence you.
Barbecue tip for Autopsy: A few minutes on each cheek will reduce the charring. Then place the skull in the 'safe zone' — that's the coolest part of the grill — and you can get to work on the corn on the cob and internal organs.
8
Slipknot, "Disasterpiece"
Iowa, 2001
Masked frontman Corey Taylor's had a bad day. A really bad day.
I wanna slit your throat and fuck the wound/I wanna push my face in and feel the swoon/I wanna dig inside, find a little bit of me/Cuz the line gets crossed when you don't come clean.
Never has such a high-profile album touted this poetic theme, and we're all better for it.
9
Haemorrhage, "Sublime Anatomy of Revenge"
Morgue Sweet Home, 2002
Spanish Gore-grinders enjoy finger-painting, name-checking themselves in the process.
I rub the intestines on your face/Shredded abdomen/Profuse gastric haemorrhage/Mangled innards/Dislocated anal tract/Nauseous torment/Festered organs I extract.
That's just inviting infection. Reading this makes me want to shower in Purell.
10
Geto Boys, "Mind of a Lunatic"
The Geto Boys, 1990
Graphic H-town rappers make an unwelcome house call.
My girls gettin' skinny, she's strung out on coke/So I went to her mother's house and cut out her throat/Her grandma was standin' there, she was screamin' out, Brad!/As she reached for the telly, I put the blade on granny's ass.
Who hasn't wanted to knock that tray of freshly-baked cookies out of granny's hands and lay into her with a boxcutter? No one? OK, never mind I said anything.
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