THE TOP TEN Most Killer Ways to Lose an Eye
The all-time, top ten ways to lose an eye and be able to say "Hell ya, it was killer." Note that these are COOL ways to lose an eye, not some lame b.s. story you'll tell the paramedic when they show up. This is the story you'll make up while you're in the hospital so you can explain how you lost your eye at the bar, to women you want to get with, etc.
The all-time, top ten ways to lose an eye and be able to say "Hell ya, it was killer." Note that these are COOL ways to lose an eye, not some lame b.s. stor... more
In hand-to-hand combat with a grizzly bear, crocodile, pirates, or Hillary Clinton. All at once is double-whoopass.
In a sword fight that involved an opponent of Celtic, Persian, Japanese, or South American (with those cool obsidian things) extraction. All at once? Yep, double-whoopass.
From a richochet while in a gun fight, especially if cowboy hats or spurs were involved.
Lost when the little canister inside the nuclear bomb popped as you were defusing the nuke and saving the school children from instant death.
After successfully jumping from a four-story building to the ground, unharmed, and then getting hit by a passing schoolbus, inadvertently saving the children (and their hot teacher) from certain death when the bridge ahead collapses.
While ejecting from a malfunctioning aircraft, after pulling the ejector handle for your co-pilot's seat because he passed out from fear at the careening aircraft.
Taken out by a piece of flying debris as you rush to bravely save women and children from an oncoming hurricane/tornado/tsunami. Double-whoopass if some of the women are hot. Triple whoopass if the gale force winds remove some of their clothing...
After diving off your motorcycle at 80+mph, over a bridge, to land on a cargo ship careening out of control and about to beach itself onto a beach full of gleaming, half-naked women in bikinis.
While parachuting down in your space capsule, there is a malfunction and you're forced to jump from the capsule seconds before it hits the water so you won't drown, with your co-pilot on your shoulder (the wuss passed out again) and while under heavy Russian/Chinese/Cuban/whoevertheCommieenemyisnow automatic weapons fire. You, of course, are shooting back, from the hip, with your trusty Government Model .45.
Because your mom finally let you have that BB gun.
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