If you enjoy this list, you can find hundreds more of the funniest top ten lists on the planet at: http://www.FunniestTopTenLists.com
If you enjoy this list, you can find hundreds more of the funniest top ten lists on the planet at: http://www.FunniestTopTenLists.com
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01/04/10
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1
Like marital sex, speed is paramount. You get in and you get out. In this case, however, you don't fall asleep immediately afterward.
2
Even if you have a vampire stake embedded in your eyeball, you must never allow another man to catch you looking at yourself in the mirror.
3
Always bring a crayon, so you can make a solid literary contribution to the words of wisdom on the walls. Sign it with a single X (no kisses).
4
Stand at the urinal for a long time. This creates the impression that your urine has a long way to travel.
5
While using the urinal, keep your eyes rivited on the misspelled obscenities directly in front of you ... even if someone at the next urinal is having a brain seizure.
6
If you have really impressive earth-moving equipment, stand at least two feet back from the urinal; keeping both hands on your hips.
7
Always fart twice while taking a leak. This is the signal that you're straining to force urine past an enlarged prostate; a sure sign that you're an alpha male.
8
Act like you're subduing a 20-foot python when putting your package back in your pants.
9
Never flush a urinal. It's O.K. to occasionally flush a toilet, especially if you have a woman in your stall.
10
If several other men are around, go to the dispenser and buy condoms large enough to be stamped with "Danger of Child Suffocation" warnings.
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