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The Top Ten signs you are a Christian Fundamentalist
Author:
inspired_mi
1 list
http://www.althroughtime.blogspot.com
| # | Name |
| 1. | 1 - You are a christian fundamentalist when you actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian. |
| 2. | 2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God. |
| 3. | 3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity. |
| 4. | 4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving." |
| 5. | 5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old. |
| 6. | 6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky. |
| 7. | 7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees! |
| 8. | 8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God. |
| 9. | 9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt. |
| 10. | 10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours. |
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Comments
You did an excellent job on this list! Right on!
Posted 6 months ago
And then there was the sadist who was so cheap he wouldn't beat his own mule, so he rented one. Oh wait...
Posted 7 months ago
People might also enjoy reading this list, The Top Ten Problems I Have With Christianity - http://www.toptentopten.com/topten/problems+i+have+with+christianity
Posted 7 months ago
@bing Those are some zingers, good work.
Posted 7 months ago
dadelakun,
A woman cannot give birth to a child without being impregnated. So if God did not "impregnate" Mary then who did?
Posted 7 months ago
The title specifically SAYS that he's talking about a narrower portion of Christians: the fundamentalists. I don't think this is showing anger at fundie Christians, I think it's laughing at them. I can't speak for the author, obviously, but I don't usually laugh when I'm angry. I also don't think that addressing the points directly would show that you're angry. It WOULD show that you're quite dumb. Who goes into a list made as a joke and tries to make a philosophical debate about their religion?
Everyone and everything gets laughed at. You and your religion are not exempt. Grow up and do something better with your time than whine on a website about top 10 lists, seriously.
That having been said, I have friends that fit this list perfectly. That's not to say all Christians or Fundamentalists come to mind, but when I was reading this, I actually thought about my friends and chuckled a little. I don't hate them, I'm not angry with them, I just disagree with them on this issue. I'm sure they could find a list like this and laugh of it thinking of me on another issue. I'm okay with that because I'm secure with myself.
It's not a personal attack on you. There's no need to be so defensive.
@dadelakun: That excerpt pretty much means that the great sky-ghost is going to impregnate her with the sky-baby by the power of the sky-daddy.
"The Holy Spirit will come upon you." is a nice euphemism for the spook screwing Yahweh's baby mama with the righteous power of the lord for the purpose of creating a holy bastard. That's pretty much the literal meaning of the passage.
You must not be a fundie after all; they (by definition) tend to take the Bible as the literal word of God. You apparently don't. :'(
Posted 7 months ago
The first too commenters below are obviously fundamentalist christians!! ROFLMAO!! This s**t is FUNNY!!!!
Posted 7 months ago
11. None of your children are ever gay. They're just waiting for the right girl to come along.
12. You desperately want Sarah Palin to be President even though she knows nothing about anything, has no accomplishments and less curiosity than your azalea.
13. You are part of a vast majority that pretends to be a minority in the interest of self-victimization.
14. You embrace the idea that all scientists are evil until you require specialized medical care. Once cured, your revert to form.
15. With a straight face you can tell any lie, no matter how ridiculous, in the service of God in spite of instructions not to bear false witness.
16. You believe that this list constitutes a hate crime while Matthew Shepard caused his own murder.
17. Finally, you are "rapture ready."
Posted 7 months ago
dadelakun: since when do fundamentalist christians actually do research? That requires rational thought. Fundamentalist christianity and rational thought are polar opposites.
Posted 7 months ago
you know, its actually a shame that you are shallow enough to publish something like this without proper research into the christian faith. Like the previous writer said, you do sound angry at a sect of christians, but more obviously, you are highly misinformed and very naive. I would love to comment on each of your ten points, but that will make me seem as angry as you, won't it?
Anyways, i will just pick one important point - #6 to talk very briefly on.
If you really want to know how Mary got pregnant, the truth is there was a process involved - its plain wrong to just say the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary. Please do your research... Luke 1:35 explained what happened: "The angel answered and said to her, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; and for that reason the holy Child shall be called the Son of God - New American Standard Bible.
Dictionary.com defines the term you used, "impregnated" as "to make pregnant" the 2nd meaning of the word is " to fertilize"
Uuuuhhhmm... Maybe, you can show me a place in the bible where the word "impregnated" was used to describe how "Mary was with child?" cos clearly, what occured according to Luke 1:35 was a spiritual processs between the Holy Spirit, God Almighty and Mary.
please respond.. would like to see you do some research.
Posted 7 months ago