THE TOP TEN Top Ten Proposed New Baseball Rules
9 players, 8 uniforms.
Buy a ticket to a Mets game - get a free ticket to a Mets trial!
Every time a player grabs himself you hear a slide whistle.
For just $3 over the regular ticket price, you get to "do it" with the Philly Phanatic.
At the end of bat night, fans get to beat the crap out of home team.
Players can't do drugs unless they bring enough to go around.
Instead of the National Anthem, sing "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" before every game.
Remember Babe Ruth? Well, how about some more of them ball playin' fat dudes?
All players must squat like catcher for entire game.
New rule: catch a foul ball, win the salary of the guy who hit it.
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