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Created 03/15/10
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1
Your odds of getting pregnant improve greatly if onlookers yell "push ... push ... push" whenever you're having sex.
2
Even your best friends will turn on you if you continue to wear a thong during your third trimester.
3
You'll soon have to stop shaving your legs, so you don't slash open one of your hideously swollen veins.
4
If you name a child "Horgwort" or "Lillibelle" they might obey you, but they'll never love you.
5
Don't be embarrassed to alert your obstetrical team if they should be prepared to perform an emergency anal-section.
6
You're much less likely to have morning sickness if you're not forced to look at an erection first thing in the morning.
7
The difference between carrying high and carrying low is about 700 additional contractions.
8
You might be happier with a female physician ... especially when your breasts become much bigger than hers.
9
If you continue to change the cat litter while you're pregnant, Fluffy will never learn to pitch in and help around the house.
10
"Eating for two" only makes sense if you're living on breast milk.
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